Monday, May 21, 2007

the usual

Hey! One more thing down the shitter! That thing being my car. Well, so long as it's not my computer...or my bike...previous shits: the breadmaker (three times), the camera...lightbulbs don't count in my book although I did just replace several at once. Same with pens running out of ink. What's the deal?

It's probably just the battery in the car, but time and money being what it is, and the season too, I think I'll just leave it be and deal with it in the autumn or the winter. I may change my mind on that. But I can drop insurance down to ten bucks a month, enough to cover damage like a rogue tree falling on it, something of the like.

One of the prerequisites for moving was that the new place be on the bus line (I am). Plus, I am already used to riding miles (and miles) to commute and stuff. And, it's not COLD and rainy, just chilly, so....the car can just sit there.

Well, wow. I feel much better now. Needed to get that off my chest I guess. 'Cause I woke up feeling really really tired and really really nonplussed about life in general. I say again - What is the deal?

I live like a queen. Roomy apartment. Food. Clothes. Able-bodied. Art supplies. Good job. Awesome friends (who make a mean pizza - more on that later). So why the despondency? Could it really be so weather and light related? This apartment is like a cave (compared to my other place) and the cloudy weather seems interminable to me this year. Jacque says that to her, the winter felt short, and we've had more sun. So....what..is..the...DEAL?

Usually don't do explicitly nude drawings but you know what? Why not. I was going through old photos from last summer and I've ended my moratorium on posting nudes. You know I like the perspective play. And this altered book is for me to just do studies, quick studies, to practice.



I think that too much weird emphasis is placed on bodies. Don't get me wrong. They're great, they allow us to do things we would not be able to otherwise. But folks, it is just bags of skin and bones. No matter how much or how little or what shape we got it in. I've been up and down the weight scale so many times, I should have buns of steel just from climbing the up and down. And if what I want my life and art to be about is honesty, then..........

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