Wednesday, December 27, 2006

one hand clapping

yeah yeah yeah, I know I know I KNOW! It's late, I'm going! Just had to do this one last thing:

click for enlargement!


A Movable Feast

oh my giddygod's blooming underpants! (thanks to Louise Rennison and her Georgia O'Keefe novels for young adults for giving me the lexicon to put that exclamation together) I got this fantastic package from Karen the other day. She's my pal, whut lives in South Carolina, and she works at a Bakery. I met her on Nervousness when I joined up for a couple ATC swaps she hosted.

So here's some back story. Last week I was lamenting the fact that I did not eat one morsel of fruitcake this year. You know how I love fruitcake. There was none around, not even any! Then of course you know about the friction between me and my downstairs neighbor. Well UPS delivered a mystery package while I was away, but they left it with Eva. Eva left a note on her door that she needed to see me for a minute, and the UPS tag said that the driver would try delivering it downstairs. Well not even a mystery package could incite me to riot with Eva. I just didn't pick it up.

Until yesterday. Eva actually came upstairs!! She was quite pleasant, actually. Said that she had a package holding for me, and she didn't mean to cause me any grief, and is doing the best she can with her volume. It's kind of funny to me, how we can be at each other's throats, and then quite civil. Well so I told her it'd be okay if she just left the package on her front doorstep. We're all under covered walkways and porches here.

Well Karen sent me an oodleful of bakery goodies! And specially made art! WOW.

The fruitcake is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO damn good.

So I made a little video. I've been working feverishly on it for hours, into the wee ones last night and again this morning. There is a contest over at iLaugh. It's only for first-run videos though -- meaning I could not upload it to YouTube or even my blog. Anyway. Here you go and thank you so much Karen!

Also viewable at my new StopMo Blog, Pinch One Off.

Or, at YouTube, if for some reason you cannot view it here.

Monday, December 25, 2006

brush your teeth

and go to bed, Victoria!!!



Just One More Monster!!!

if and when

So what was I up to this morning, that captivated me so? Why, I was gibbling through Stefan G. Bucher's amazing website!. He also draws a monster a day, films it, and you can watch it! Every day! It's very unique and very fun and lunchable. I feel kinda like a groupie, because I ended up cruising the 'net trying to find out anything about him, and I watched an interview, and a time-lapse of a mural he and some other folks did, and it just went on and on. It's not often that I like so much of what I see in one place. But Stefan Bucher has a hand in lots of different projects and styles, all his own. Spanky!

Then I drew this, after I went for a slow jog 'round the neighborhood. It'll end up in one of my mini zines.

a bit o' the christmas cheer

Earlier I opened my Junk Drawer to toss in some spent Duracells. It's a battery graveyard in there



Remember when I was beaming about my responsible consumerism? Well I looked at this pile of dead batteries and felt irredeemable



until I realized I really just need to ditch (recycle?) this bluetooth keyboard, nifty as it is, and buy one that hooks in with a USB. And the growing mass of wires atop my table be damned. Or ignored. I don't need to replace the batteries in the keyboard as often as I did the mouse, but still.....I'm contributing to the demise of our planet. We're on a crash course and there is no stopping us now. As soon as hominids entered the scene we were doomed.

No wonder millions of people pop Adivans like candy!!

very verily

Well well well! How are you celebrating (or not) today? I've been celebrating for years!! Lately though, this is how it looks. Went over to make and eat a scrumptious dinner yesterday with the gang and gave them these.

This one's for Jacque, to look like a sunlike thing for Solstice:



there are more pics this-a-way.

This one's for Marsha!



More next door here.

This lil' fella is for Megan, Marsha's daughter who just turned 10. He is blowing his nose!



another full frontal

And this one for Ryan, who is six and is into dragons right now:




aaand of course the 360 degree view.

I am kicking back in my new slippers, which are of a very soft and long-haired pelt. I can't stop rubbing myself on them (which looks very funny if I am wearing them). Thanks Jacque!!



And coiffed 'round the neck in my new super-long and also very soft scarf that Marsha made...for me....did I mention it's mine?



And did I mention it is very soft? And smells good, too.



The black cast, is very swank, is it not? I should be going to the opera with that....

I need to move my buttocks, I have been surfing the internet ALL DAY! I'll tell you later what I've been up to there. In the meantime, hope you're all eating sweet morsels and dancing swizzle-hipped to Dean Martin! Or maybe Don Ho.

Ho.

Ho.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

p.s.

I was just looking at the hand of doom and I thought a thing: what if my arm and hand always look like an emaciated claw but ballooned at one end? Even after the cast has been off for a month and I'm dilligent about physical therapy? I say now I could live with that, I am feeling quite in a good mood. At least I know my bones are going to heal, but really.....what if it's permanently deformed? Well here is a picture of what my neck looks like if I voluntarily deform it. So what's the difference, really? We're all beautiful and deformed, if you think about it.......







Wow. These are really spectacular if you click on them to make them larger!!







Now I know what I'm going to look like when I get some years older, if I live that long (hey. you never know.). Whoah.



bit o' this, bit 'o that

You're gonna love this one: ya know the downstairs lady, who is most likely deaf in the head, who's been blasting the telly? The one who can't afford to buy a hearing aid? Yeah well she can afford satellite TV all of a sudden!!! I came home last night and there were two more dishes on the roof, that makes four, all pointed in the same direction, looking like genuflecting monks worshipping the digital god. Amazing. Truly amazing. I really hope that she is happy as a clam at high tide (and that she continues to keep the volume down). She can view tv until she's even more comatose, what with all those channels. She probably really is in seventh heaven.

Tonight after walking home from the bus station..it's a good 25 minute brisky...just like last night, about two minutes after I arrive, the rain starts coming down pretty good. Wow. That is cool. I packed rain gear with me, but still - good timing! After getting settled in, I realized I was craving salt. Wanted something warm but not heavy. So I rummaged in my larder, found these two containers and OPENED THEM MYSELF!!!, mixed the contents (plus some salt and pepper, natch), and enjoyed the BEST (large) bowl of tomato soup EVER. It's gonna be grilled cheese with that real soon.



There is a really cute mobile home for sale that I feel all warm and fuzzy about. I've been haunting craigslist in hopes of finding the perfect apartment in a quiet neighborhood...this place is in a nice geriatric trailer park. And I do mean nice. Like...shady lanes....borrowing cups of sugar from your neighbor...bingo in the common rec room...gah! What's gotten into me?! But it would be all MINE MINE MINE, all 968 square wood-floored-feet of it! In the last year or so, I've been dreaming of mobile homes. I've lived in a couple. They get a bad rap. The trashy ones do.

Anyway. I need to get my butt to bed soon. Last night's episode of Golden Girls involved a mix-up with Rose's teddy bear Fernando. I really want to draw Rose's face when she snagged that teddy bear back from the girlscout who was holding him hostage. Wonder if I could find a picture online? Hang on. Oh well wait. All I have to do is load the DVD into my computer, play it with VLC instead of the default, freeze frame, and use the snapshot feature!

Ta-daaa!





oh, the wonders of modern technology. Okay for reals: bon soire!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

it IS a full moon!!!!!!!!!

Okay I'm sure someone somewhere must've done this joke, if not Conan himself. So but yah I'm not knowingly ripping someone's idea off.

I think I shall skip the late-nighting tonight. Firstly, my whole sleep schedule will be totally screwed up if I keep up with the owl-hours. I do have to wake up early on friday for my 9 o'clock shift, after all. And secondly, I brought home Golden Girls! So I have a series to go mindless on before going to sleep. ( I was hunting for Cowboy Bebop: The Movie, so I could make a backup copy for my permanent collection but alas, the two circulating copies are out and I will need to wait for my dose of Ed, Spike and the rest)

(and Eva has been pretty good about not blasting me out lately...miracles DO happen)



It'll look good photocopied, I figure. I'm gonna make a little zine of my doodles.

Major accomplishment of the day: I opened a can! I didn't have the A)strength and B)lack of pain to be able to endure pressure, to open a can with a traditional can opener until....today. Ooh, I feel so self-sufficient!

A close runner-up: no dogs, animals, flying saucers or memes raced at me growling today!

Crap!! It's already creeping up on late-night! I gotta hurry and go to sleep!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

is it a full moon??

This is the second time this week I've been rushed by a dog barking. Not a 'happy to see you! wanna play?!" bark. More like, "Intruder! Dinner! I'm gonna rip your limbs and face off!" On sunday, Josie and I were walking along the river bike/ped path and the pit bull was ranging a good 20 yards out from its person/owner. I turned us around and suddenly the dog was RIGHT ON US. I put myself between him and Josie and yelled NO!!!!! and then to the guy twenty yards back, "Call off your dog!!!" I added a few epithets as well. Tonight, I was coming off the butte from a walk around the neighborhood and a dog gave a warning bark...unleashed out in an unfenced yard. The owner was right there, made no move to stop the dog or call to him, and the german-shepherd-sized-dog ran across the street full tilt at me, growling and barking. This is the third time this has happened, but this was the worst. I was fucking scared but I held my ground and played alpha, yelling, SCREAMING NO!!! The guy finally called Dominic back, and Dominic listened, and the guy patted and soothed the damn dog while I said, "Really uncool man, really fucking scary too."

"Relax."

"Are you telling me to relax??" (he had said it rather softly, and facing Killer)

"Yeah, relax!"

"Hey man I don't know your dog. How about an apology?"

"Yeah, sorry for making you scream like a crazy person." (like that is a bad thing?)

"Whatever, man."

I've called the police more in the last month than in my whole ten thousand previous lives combined. People are so________________(fill in the blank with lots of colorful language). I found my pepper spray. Guess I'll need to carry that with me again.

That stuff is powerful - I pointed it at the drain, with running water, and the effluent still made me sneeze and my lungs start to constrict. Wanted to make sure it still works. God I hope I never have to use it.



And I watched OPB/Charlie Rose last night. Yeah, the "thinking people's" talk show/host (snicker). Well guess who was on? That's right, I knew you knew, 'cause you watched it too! Angelina Jolie.

I swear, I could watch her for hours. Well maybe I'd get bored, but she is truly beautiful. How DOES that happen?? She's aging really well. I've never seen a bad picture of her, not even in all the rags I process at work. Amazing.

Let's hope for something candy and kooky on the telly tonight. I need a little levity.

here comes the sun!

Happy (nearly) Solstice! Each are about 2" x 2", little bigger maybe:







clowns to the left of me........



For the Cake in us all! (I have been extremely remiss in posting all the Mr. Cake goodies that Haddock has sent my way...I aim to rectify that sooner rather than later, so check back)

And I went in to get a new cast, since the old one was old. And grunged out. And smelly. But, before the kind lass regloved me, I took these pics:

THE (puny) HAND OF DOOM! @@



The underside of the HAND OF DOOM! @@ (beauty, eh?)



That is some BITCHIN' bruising, since it looks like that three full weeks after The Fall!!! No wonder it hurt like hell. Can you imagine being in a car wreck, or a fire? My god!!!

I think it's time to go play with Sculpey now. I'm pretty much unthawed. It. Is. COLD. Outside. Today. I jogged back from the doctor's, over to Fred Meyer, and home, to keep my temp up but...brrzrrs.

late night with

I don't really get it. But I am watching late night television.

Do you know how weird this is?!

It is VERY WEIRD.

The other night, after Jay Leno talked with Dakota Fanning's cute self, I flipped over to some other late night talk show. I have no idea who the guy is. But there were skits of candid camera christmas stunts. And I was just about peeing my pants under the covers. Then I flipped back to ol' Jay, and

TWISTED SISTER was playing a christmas carol!



...actually, it was kinda cool, if rather horrifying. They're still ALIVE??

Monday, December 18, 2006

post-thanksgiving

Hey I just finally posted pictures of our Thanksgiving Eat-and-More-A-Thon next door on the other bloggy!!

And the premier of yet another blog where I am shelving all my stopmotion flicks:

Pinch One Off

Also, I highly recommend this game called Sprout Invaders. I've directed you to a jump-off point, click 'play for free' and do read through the page, it's not an advertisement, merely some conscious living endorsements. Then, on to the game! Let me know what yous think.

I jogged over to Fred Meyer earlier (yeah! I'm jogging! we'll see how long that lasts, knees being what they are...but for now, it's a grand feeling, even if my jog is probably equivalent to most folks very fast walks)...those impluse-item panels by the cash registers are so effective. Only, I'd already promised myself to buy new socks, the big fluffy moisture-wicking ones I luuuurve to wear in the winter. Buy Two Get One Free!! Yay oh yay oh yay! Now I won't have to wear one pair until they stand up by themselves, and then one more pair...I have a few more than three pair, now.

And, they were made in America. I'm such the responsible consumer!

Oh, here, I've almost forgot...I just finished an elephant who wants to be a boy, or is that the other way 'round? It's for Kendra:










Yes, she loves elephants. I gave her an ATC of an elephant only in pink and I named him Norman.

Okay I gotta go move my arse and go for a walk 'round the 'hood. Ciao!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

over herd

This is a little doodle I just did, for a small zine I'm putting together with the help of several other mail-artist friends. The theme is 'overheard'.




Good news on the pain front: my wrist actually stopped aching every single second! Now it's about every third or fourth. No but really, it's so much better. Most difficult things to accomplish:

cutting chard - answer: brace the bunch with left forearm, cast being protected by long sleeve or dishtowl or piece of plastic, and cut as usual with right hand

clipping fingernails - the answer until my left digits and tendons regain strength enough to hold and squeeze the clippers is to grasp the clippers between my front teeth, brace with my tongue (so they don't slip backwards, being of very slippery metal and shoot into the back of my throat), and do it in the mirror so I can see what I'm doing because really, try putting your hand up to your face that close to clip...it's impossible, unless you wanna guarantee drawing blood. Drool all over and down clippers and into bathroom sink basin.

Driving is still out of the question, thank god I'm right on the bus line and City of Eugene (my employers) give us all year-long bus passes. Talk about handy.

It's actually pretty amazing how resourceful one becomes when hampered. However, I really haven't noticed that my other senses have sharpened because of the loss or severe limitation of a limb.

And might I say again, I am SOOOO so sosososososoooooooooooooooo glad I have insurance. I'd be completely screwed if the apartment insurance didn't pick up the tab. The jury is still out on that one but I'm keeping all the fingers I can cross, crossed, that they'll cough up monies to cover what my insurance doesn't. I so do not relish the idea of going to court.

Eva hasn't been completely blasting me out of house and home, but....she's pushing it. Meanwhile, the neighbors visitor penned me in very nicely last night.

Idiots.

Even though I can't really drive, it didn't stop me from putting notes on their car to the effect of: park here again and it gets towed.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Kali or Bust



Soooo...yeah. Made this for my friend Jacque, whose birthday was thursday, and she hit the big four-five. Woooo!! Happy birthday! We threw a surprise partay, even though she'd pretty well sussed it out by the time we all yelled SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!

There are more pics on this page and also a couple of video clips right here.

***WARNING: even more potty humor and images ahead****

Jacque also requested that this



be followed by a squat, and then we agreed that a sort of happy dance after unloading would definitely finish it off good and proper. So, I did a couple more carvings, and the stamps do now grace the inside of her birthday card (which I forgot to take a picture of before the gifting, but will post later if I remember to snap one tomorrow when I see her). The stamps are about nickel-sized:





Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go an execute another idea in Sculpey, for another friend.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

laughing my arse off

Well, it was the worst and best weekend ever. Monday totally bit the big one because I felt so vengeful and in a raging rage and hell I was tired. That lady has lost her crackers and I did too. The manager is on my side now though, which is a switch and a surprise. BUT, Eva muted her TV all day yesterday and today, so I am a very happy camper.

Then, I watched TransForce over at iLaugh.com and laughed my lower back-end off. So I wrote them a letter to thank them for the awesome shows (of which there are not a few...check out Black and White too), telling them of my aforementioned loss of ass due to laughing. One of those blokes wrote me back:

"In anticipation of a very detrimental lawsuit I would like to offer you our most sincere condolences for the loss of your ass. However, we here at iLaugh.com claim no responsibility for said ass-loss as is clearly stated in the fine print of section 114a of the iLaugh bill of rights.

With that out of the way, I will point you in the direction of the likely culprits. It is of no coincidence that you were watching Transforce at the time of the posterior disappearance. These trannies are notorious for stealing anything that even moderately resembles the warm confines of the male butt-cave. With a little luck, the Transforce crew will realize that they have inadvertently abducted the buttocks of a (shudder) female and will hastily return it to you with angry disgust.

Good luck to you ma'am.

iLaugh webmaster,

Mon Izumbo"

I LOVE IT! So I made them (and me, and you, that's all of us) a short little animation. Here you go:



***I dunno what's up with YouTube, it's been a half-a-freakin'-hour and the video is still being 'processed'...if it's not up by the time I meet and greet the day tomorrow, I'll try again. All apologies.**

Monday, December 11, 2006

piss on ya then

...sleep? did someone say the s-word? no such thing around here. I was kept awake until 1:30 in the morning, earplugs did not suffice, and neither have the police, as she is still up to her usual this evening. This totally sucks and I am agressively searching for a new apartment.

Until I find one, I think I shall go mad and run screaming through the streets.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

talkin' out my ass



Despite numerous conversations, shouting matches, polite inquiry, forebearance, taps on the ceiling (hers) (sometimes three or four times a day), my downstairs neighbor just can't get the hang of turning her !@#$@#(#$%()#$%()*E%U television volume down.

This little carving is about all I can manage before my wrist says NO MORE.

I'll probably sleep eleven hours tonight instead of my usual ten.

Thank god for earplugs.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

hey mambo

So everything's just a-ok, you see here my sexy new black cast, gloved to the elbow as I described:



I can now use the digits on my left hand to type, miracles never do cease...couldn't imagine picking up even a paperclip in my left hand last week. Still hurts pretty much constantly, but SO much less than last week, it's totally bearable. Yes, the itching has begun, especially when I go out for a walk or fast walk or even a very very slow jog. Sweat ya know.

And the cast is stinky now too. Pew.

I go in tomorrow for another set of xrays with the surgeon; hopefully the bones aren't shifting around in ways that will require surgery to put them back in their rightful places.

Yesterday I actually made a pie from scratch (sweet potato), did the laundry, walked round the neighborhood...did bunches of dishes too. Then I slept for ten hours last night.

I also drew this yesterday. I altered a few little things, like making the dog smile, but I drew it looking at a graphic novel by the inimitable Roger Langridge. Now I'm reading his 'Fred the Clown'. And it is hilarious, and of course, the illustrations are par excellence. Sooooo....don't really think I'll make a print of it, but the practice drawing is good.



Otherwise...not much arting at all. Sigh...oh well unless you count the day-long project on monday, to make Marsha a happy birthday journal! I sewed signatures together, cut and glued the covers and everything. I am pretty proud of that little feat. No I did not take any pictures. But I made it with lots of paper inside, and actually made the journal binding spine thingy wide enough to accomodate it!

Okay. Tired. Need to go lie down or make like a hen and lay down, and watch some Veronica Mars. Gotta cram in all five or is it six discs of season two in two weeks...that is how long the checkout period is. So toodles.

Friday, December 01, 2006

still kickin'

I SHOWERED TONIGHT!!!!!!!

Wow I feel SO much better. Despite the doo-doo haircut.

No need for surgery as of yesterday...will go visit Dr. Tavacholian again next week for more xrays and if bones are shifting in unpleasant ways then maybe reconsidering surgery will be necessary. My wrist is uber tired and sore today. Got a nice sleek sexy goes-with-everything black up-to-the-elbow glove (cast) to replace the splint and sling

HALLELUJAH

Here are some pics from thursday's doctor visit:




oh my god...what IS it?? (really it's more about showcasing a good hair moment)

And here you see me plying sympathy from the camera lens:



And these are just plain poofy, bruised, and euw...although I think in person it was MUCH more dramatic.









But I still managed to do ONE cake card (only took me four days!)




Okay time to floss. Yeag try doing that one-handed!!

It works splendidly when your friend Marsha lends you her handy flossing tool. It looks like a miniature slingshot.

And I would like to publicly say thank you a gagillion times to Jacque, my best friend, who is a true pal for staying in the germ-ridden-and-laden Urgent Care facility for hours upon hours on monday. And missing work too. I lurvey her lotches and lotches.