Friday, May 21, 2010

Friday May 21

Will someone please remind me what I'm supposed to remind myself to do or not do when I feel like this*?

* spaced-out; unmotivated; tired; distracted; unfocused; weepy

Go buy a coffee and a pack of smokes, you say? Oh right!! Yeah ha ha kidding. Ugh.

The interview with the Ford Family Scholarship folks yesterday went fine; I mean it didn't go badly but afterwards I felt all raw and like I wanted to cry, throw up, eat and crawl under a rock all at once.

"So I'm missing something here - why don't you go to art school?"

Um, like, it's $30,000 a year. Oh hang on, let me just pull that out of my ass. What do you mean, what's stopping me?! Sure it might be possible, but I'm jus
t barely wrapping my head around the idea of putting myself into debt to go to community college. I know people do it, and I aim to find out how, but I felt rankled about that question. She seemed like a really sweet person and all but has she ever known a hard day in her life?!

Whoah. That's totally unfair. What is going on with me today. I'm positively volcanic on the emotional scene. She did say I did great at the close of the interview. Ugh. No lip service please.

I'm going to draw some more freakish bunnies to send to Italy for a show. And listen to BBC radio on the internet. I don't even care what they're saying, it just sounds so lovely. I know that's such an American response to British accents, but it is completely and utterly true: I think it's all very beautiful and much more interesting than American accents.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Wednesday May 19

Mr. G commented on the second of two drawings from yesterday, that I was making some really nice lines - very painterly. I don't think he's bullshitting or putting on that 'pump you up' voice either. I hope not; that would piss me off. No - he sounded sincere. I mean, he's probably always sincere in encouraging students. There is something to be said for a mature artist with years under his belt regarding my work as progressing and painterly. Especially because I want to progress, and I do love the painterly.

Today both of the rides to and from school were rain-free. Amazing, considering this crazy spring weather and all the rain bursts that march across the sky all day. The birds are so happy, singing full-throated all the time. I love it.

Tomorrow is the interview for the Ford Family Foundation Scholarship. Relax. And breathe.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

tuesday May 18

Up early for registration aaaaaannnd........I landed all the classes I outlined for myself! Last-minute change, which I might change again. Sorry, boring school talk AGAIN. God, this morning seems like an aeon ago. WHAT in the HELL happened to the day?! No I am seriously serious. I'm a bit stunned. I feel kind of frantic, a rising sort of panic, when I think back on the day and I know I moved deliberately through it, and still it's a sort of blurry dream-thing. It's like a succession of altered states, all day and all night. I might as well just sit back and enjoy the ride, eh?

gird the loins!

buckle the seatbelts!

batten the hatches and bring plenty of dramamine!

HEY I finished Basic Design collages......fuck yeah woo! Now we're doing our Final Project: an Exquisite Corpse, self-portrait. Oooookay!!!

We drew NON-WHITE objects in drawing class today....fuck yeah woo! Our Mr. G lined up three vessels with highly reflective surfaces (tea pots and suchlike). And handed out white charcoal to those of us using vine and pressed.

ack I need sleep, my eyes are crossing

Sunday, May 16, 2010

sunday May 16

To continue......

I felt at ease today in a way I haven't for awhile. I'll enjoy it while it lasts, and that's not fatalistic, it's realistic. And maybe next time I spin out I can remember how I felt today.

Today? Laundry, hung out to dry in the warm sun. Love that. Made a print that I am okay with, pretty much, not being anything hugely special. I'm remembering all the little things I'm reading in the books on art and books by artists. Things like, the seeds for your next work lie in this one; ask your work what it needs.

I'm reading/looking at The Illustrated Life, a compendium of sketchbooks from which to draw inspiration from, but artists of all different stripes and spots. One of the women is an illustrator who graduated with a BFA and says that she isn't so happy so much with how she draws, that it's as if she's still nine years old, but that she's more okay with that now. That struck me like a bolt of lightening -- her drawings aren't very sophisticated, but they're genuine, and she draws every day, and she graduated from university with a degree......I felt in good company, and assured that all of my feelings about art, my self, my worth, expectations, etc ad nauseum (no disrespect to any of it).....are all normal and shit. So, yay!

Man I'm sleepy though. Here's the picture of the print, maybe some day I will approach the mad skillz of Kathe Kollwitz, but you know what? Maybe I never will, least today...I'm okay with that. (another passage in Art and Fear - the reconciliation after the realization or intimation that you've done all your best work already...maybe I have....who knows? what if that's true? maybe I don't have to try so hard to top myself and struggle so much to create the kind of art I think makes me a 'real artist'...)

ps - last wednesday in my Intro to Visual Arts class, we looked at Kathe Kollwitz's work and I felt re-inspired. Fantastic feeling. Her works are so powerful. Also we viewed a short video and the artist is......hang on lemme look at my notes.......Gabriel Orozco. He's into all sorts of different stuff, and says that he would rather be a beginner in many mediums than an expert in just one or two. He's being filmed while noodling around, just noodling around doing stuff, nothing hugely monumental in the way we're taught to think of monumental 'art'. But, still -- the small monuments and homage to the creative impulse and living along/with/inside that creative momentum. I was inspired by both of these artists by their love of experiment and multi-medium -- I identify with that and I haven't been experimenting so much lately. I've been very concerned with (the stultifying) 'getting it right'. WTF. Oh that again. Okay, time to take out the trash!!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

saturday - may 15

I wanted to get wasted tonight. So bad. But you know what? I didn't. A dozen times I about walked over to the market, bought a pack of cigarettes and some alcohol. Instead, I drew (a little bit, and then thought again about how great a cigarette and a beer would be). And then, I actually did a few algebra problems (and thought how fucking awesome a cigarette and a beer would be). I paced around a lot. I talked myself off the ledge, or at least....away from the very edge of the ledge and reminded myself that neither of those things would really make me feel better in the long run. Dammit!! Finally, it was dark and I felt somehow safer. I made a huge bowl of popcorn, and watched Yes Man (pretty fun show). I ate two huge bowls of popcorn, actually. And a few other things....

but I did NOT smoke any cigarettes, or drink any beer, and get blitzed. So I won't feel like shit tomorrow. Even though I ate a huge amount of food. I think this is the first time in my life that I've done any sort of binge eating and actually felt good about it. And me and binge, we go a long way back.

I'm full, and sleepy, so goodnight. Here are a couple sketches from this morning's drawing session. I almost packed up and walked out the door so many times. Willem de Kooning said he never felt peaceful or pure while painting, or as a result of it. When I read that, I felt angry and also relieved.

Friday, May 14, 2010

friday, how you say, may fourteen

egads. gads zooks. I was planning on going to Portland to check out the PNCA you know? But I slept not well at all last night, with an aching back, so I didn't push myself out of bed at four a.m. to catch that 5:30 train. I'm rescheduling for a time when I can stay for a couple of days instead, and stay at the hostel, prowl the city, that sort of thing. Maybe on break, before Summer classes begin. At least, that's the plan.

How in the world do students actually go to school full time?? Am I missing something? There is only so much money that the government will lend. Those loans and grants don't really cover all of school plus living expenses. I guess scholarships? What the hell?

Thirty grand a year for PNCA. Wow. I'd go in a heartbeat if I landed that Ford Re-Start Scholarship.

Anyway. My brain is tired, so's my body, here are a couple of paint pushers I paint-pushed this afternoon. I learned some stuff about the materials and application, which is all to the good - and I allowed myself to relax into putzing around without so much pressure to perform.

The photos are way more interesting than the originals. I don't remember why I thought to lift this one to the light (it was gorgeously sunny and really warm today) but it's much prettier this way:

I had laid down some watercolor and it wasn't to my liking (running together making a messy mudpit of a page) so I hosed it all off (literally). I then crumpled the paper up (it's a sizable sheet of watercolor paper) and made it soft, and then re-applied colors in wet on wet. I like the end result.......held up against the front door! The original is actually a very very dull rendering. I didn't need to fiddle with contrast or anything.

This original is dull too, so I liberally applied some contrast and stuff to it:

And here's the bleedthrough onto butcher paper, that I actually quite like

I'm going to watch the remainder of Ponyo tonight! Miyazaki's (and Co.) latest efforts, which becomes more charming as the film matures.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

hump day, may 12

And we're almost over the other side of the month as well! Four weeks left in the Term, including finals week, which isn't that big of a deal for me personally. The biggie will be a comprehensive in Albegra, otherwise known as Algebra.

Our instructor for drawing class has once again cancelled, for tomorrow. I feel disappointed. I've been looking forward to academic rigor and classroom studio. In this term of twenty classes total, two have been cancelled and two others were shortened by so much that we didn't draw AT ALL. I realize that shit happens, and our Mr. G probably has some family stuff he's dealing with. But isn't it interesting that I'm raring to go, and I'm being 'forced' to slow down, at least in terms of formal education credits.

I was pretty enraged about it, earlier in the term. Now, not so much. There's no use in fighting - in trying to shoulder aside a boulder, you know? Certain wheels just turn slowly. I think I've basically dented my forehead against that boulder so much that I'm tired of doing that........maybe I'm going to practice non-resistence for awhile, eh?

Anyway, I've introduced this wild hair up my ass: going to the Pacific Northwest College of Art in Portland. It might not be such a wild hair; it might be a viable option. What led to this? Well:

Overhearing a conversation about transfer credits in the hall at Lane; a few appointments with advisors at U of O, where I'm planning on transferring. I've learned how to cut out a whole lot of courses by doing a direct transfer instead of an Associate Transfer.

Started wondering what other sorts of courses are required for art schools......namely, the one in Portland. Will I need so much math? How about a foreign language? Curious, I started poking around their website last night. Between last night and tonight I've spend a chunk of time nosing around, and asking questions over the phone.

I'm going up on Friday to meet with an admissions counselor. She'll give me a tour, and we'll do an informal sort of interview, which includes me presenting my portfolio. I've filled out an online application, and amended my FAFSA to include PNCA as a school I'm considering attending, so that the college will have access to my financial aid info.

Just, you know, starting the process in case I go there, fall in love with the place and the vibe, and could possibly swing a scholarship or two and some inflated loans. I'm down with it! I'm totally down with it!

Committing to myself on the level that enables me to not only entertain the notion of racking up huge debt but actually accept loans is a HUGE step for me. Even though I haven't used the Stafford Loan money awarded to me for Spring Term, it's in the bank, and I'm willing to dip into it and hell, even drain it dry.


If PNCA just doesn't ring true for me, maybe it will another year, or maybe it's just not for me; I anticipate that I'll know when I see the place. I'm certainly not overjoyed about U of O's program, but I will definitely go there if that's what I can swing (and be funded for) -- and I feel confident that I will also learn a good deal.

This is one of the places I'm finding to trust, as per John Cage's advice (tips for students and teachers, that I posted in two five-point chunks). Trust that I'll know which direction to go in; GO in that direction; and trust that whatever experience presents itself or that I'm in, I'll really invest myself in that experience and know that (cheesy as it sounds) I'm going to learn something valuable.

See that glass? Hot damn! It's half full!

PNCA offers (as art schools do....) different specialized programs within the BFA program. And Illustration is one of them. In this program, students create their own graphic novels. It says so right on the website!!! When I read that last night I felt my heart turn over in my chest. Like.....oh my god......I could receive formal education in a field of my choosing, right down to the graphic novel? Which is one of my DREAMS? Wow. It's amazing, really - sequential art has risen in stature!

U of O doesn't offer any Illustration.

God - moving again?

Sure. Why not.

Portland is the best little big city, I keep hearing.

Even if I stay in Eugene, just thinking about and initiating this trajectory is a big deal for me. The act of purposeful/intent and willingness to risk (the unknown, big debt, uprooting again) is a really big deal.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Tuesday, May Eleven

Time Warp!

Black Hole.

Now sleeeeeeeeepy.

A Basic Design assignment: find a picture. Simplify it. Enlarge it, use the graphing method (re-drawing it to proportion). Paint it with black acrylic. I see the merit in this assignment: teaching students how to select and represent visual elements that pack a punch. The acrylic was a bad move; I did another (different) picture prior to this one and my lines were just all over the place and sloppy. With this one, I simplified the picture to the point of erasing most of his face, and added some stripes in an otherwise unremarkable and uniform black. Also arranged the spectacle frames into a sort of "??" expression. Since I had paid my dues with the graphing/proportion hand-draw method, I treated myself to a shortcut and simply traced the figure I had simplified and inked it with Higgins. I'm okay with the results; in fact I think it's kinda cool.

(is it a function of me hanging out with a younger crowd at college that I am saying 'cool' a lot?)

Interesting that the bulk of the assignments in my art classes are just what I asked for: exercises that I wouldn't normally gravitate towards or even have a proclivity for. At first I felt bruised and outraged: I wanted to show my instructors that I'm an artist in my own right, and I've produced some pretty cool shit, dammit! With these assignments, I haven't felt any real affinity or enthusiasm for them. But you know what?

You don't achieve anywhere without putting in the work. And sometimes, the work is just plain ol' hard work and you don't have to like it but you have to do it. So sometimes I still fight it (that @@#W#% collage, for example) but I'm also learning to just ease into it, find a rhythm and let myself enjoy the process.


Hmmmm........value. Yes, grasshopper, value the process.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Nonday Nay Tenn

There's my art project for today! Bonus, with bruises! (you should see the front side, a nice long shallow gash from misstepping with a metal easel last week in drawing class)

Ever seen Ray Johnson's collages? Or his bunny? Or the documentary How to Draw a Bunny? Oooh you better, you don't wanna die bunny-less.

I will probably need to redo the bunny homage tomorrow, as I need to go shower -- and maybe I will add a legion to keep the original company.

Oh, right, no it's not a tattoo. Although....I am considering it.

Actually I did a small drawing exercise earlier today, which I want to copy off and see if it'll make something cool. So maybe there will be something relatedly coolish in a near-future post.

I also saw an academic advisor about study abroad in France, to fulfill a language requirement for my BFA when I transfer over to the University. Damn, wouldn't that be all kindsa cool.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Sunday May 09, with and without sun

The Crows in the Wheat Field
based on Van Gogh's painting
collage on board
20 x 18"

Oh my god, I am so glad this collage is done. It's an OCD'ers wet dream, right? Well I guess I'm not that afflicted after all. Ugh! This sucker was an all-day project for Basic Design and I gritted my teeth through it all the way. Last night I read something about Jackson Pollock and how he said as long as he was in touch with his painting, everything was cool. It was when he wasn't, wasn't. It was much better when quoted and it gave me pause for thought: the way he worded it was beyond the obvious. Or behind the obvious.

Another thing I read in Art and Fear is to ask your work what it needs, not what you need.

I am totally willing to subordinate myself. But then again, I am ostensibly not because I remain conflicted and experience anxiety and apprehension around the whole creative process. Like today. It was an exercise in repetition to bring myself back to the work and ask what it needed.....I continued to try and dominate the whole experience ("I hate this shit, the glue is so messy, all these little pieces, what a pile of horsedookie, my back is killing me, why the hell am I doing this anyway??").

So I kept trying to stay in touch with the 'painting' and there were moments, I guess you can see that. There were also lots of moments where I just couldn't stay with it and I guess you can see that, too.

Anyway. Chalk another one up.

Tomorrow I meet with an academic advisor at the University (I think I wrote about that) -- this evening I've spent considerable time combing through course equivalencies and I found the BA requirements page and have done a couple hours' worth of preparatory work so that when I go in for my meager half-hour ear-bender I can hopefully maximize the time. Ah does mah homework yes sirree.

Time to call it a day. And a beautiful one it was......replete with sunny skies, warm weather, cloudy skies, a bike ride, and a helluva rainstorm (luckily I had already ducked into Kiva for my weekly grocery shopping when the thunder clapped and the heavens was like nothing I've seen in years). (and luckily, the storm passed quickly enough that I only needed to wait a few more minutes after making my purchases to load up the bike and ride home under no rainy skies!)

Saturday, May 08, 2010

it is Saturday, 08th of May

And here are the second five of the list I posted a few weeks ago, from Carrie's syllabus.

Some rules and hints for Students and Teachers
By John Cage

Rule 6: Nothing is a mistake. There's no win and no fail. There's only make.
(oh my god, I seriously needed to hear that.....I am feeling better already)

Rule 7: The only rule is work- if you work it will lead to something. it's the people who do all of the work all of the time who eventually catch on to things.
(can you feel it??)

Rule 8: Don't try to create and analyze at the same time. They're different processes.

Rule 9: Be happy whenever you can manage it. Enjoy yourself. It's lighter than you think.
(Artists do not need to be moody and least not all of the time)

Rule 10: We're breaking all of the rules. Even our own rules and how do we do that? By leaving plenty of room for "x" quantities.

I met with an academic advisor at UofO where I plan to transfer and new information has come to light. I'll need two years' proficiency in a foreign language for my BA. Uhhh......I guess that's pretty standard, but I had no idear. I'm excited in a way, and also - well it's interesting because now that I am on a trajectory with art, it's what I want to immerse myself in. I had the idear that since most of my general eds are fulfilled from WSU in the 90s, I'll just be concentrating on ART. Not so.

I guess that is what a Master's is for.


Here's a foot from this morning!

The floor is really dusty with charcoal; all the model's bare feet end up completely blackened. I love to draw 'em.

Sandy was a font of inspiration and advice today, including, "oh and don't make the background all black like that......add some of the other colors." (on the one below) I was going for a stylized background, not realistic :) And I wanted a very crisp edge.

The cleft in the buttocks is creeping even me out. That's saying something. But oh right, a learning opportunity.

I went for a bike ride after drawing and I saw the coolest mallard - all the feathers (at least the ones I could see) are an iridescent black!

I'm gonna go watch some Art21 and let slumber take me early.

Friday, May 07, 2010

five ways to say it

Short 'n sweet, I'm turning into a pumpkin as I write:

I realized I know how to say "I don't know" in five languages (including English, mais oui):

Wakarimasen - Japanese (although technically speaking, it's shirimasen)
Je n'est ce pas - Fran├žais
No se - Espagnol
Teriadoo - Tamil (south India)

And here's some postcard decoratives (especially for my library buddies - and those working for the City), goodnight!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Thursday May the sixth

oh my golly I have to go lie down I did all my math homework it's ten o'clock and I'm utterly knacked after a wonderful ride to and from school with sunshine and lots of good art and conversation sandwiched in between not to mention a helluva run-on sentence

(huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh - deep breath)

I started the ink and watercolor above last night, wasn't happy, but didn't wallow or go down That Road. This morning I reworked it and felt more excited and happy about it!

Upon arriving at school I discovered that I lost my glove but I didn't lose it or go down That Road; instead I saddled up and retraced my route in. Found the glove not too far off. yessssss.

Our Mr. G. asked what I wanted to draw today and I said, gestures! figures! on newsprint! you promised us newsprint and gestures! Nope, he wasn't going for that. But he did bring out some pieces of face painted white. Um. Yeah!

Yesterday I copied these off. It'll fulfill a few functions: fun, mail art, and a class assignment (I chose the DaDa if you'll remember, this is just an extra goody in addition to that collage piece):

And finally, I just really like this. A lot. O yasumi nasai! (that's goodnight, in japanese; alternatively, konbanwa)

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Wednesday may 05th

sun/rain/sun/rain/wind/hail/sun/wind: what am I? Answer: a typical Eugene spring day.

On the right you'll see I added a link to my galpal's Etsy shop. She's a formidable artist. I recommend you buy something from her, pronto.

This morning I saw that squirrel who was munching a the hell you spell?...biscuit. Wow. Kinda like bisquit though. Anyway, that squirrel (pretty sure it's the same one) was stuffing something else in its mouth: the row cover. It's a really long swath of fabric that is designed to cover your crops and protect them from elements (and bugs......and squirrels, maybe). This squirrel's eyes are bigger than its jowls. I mean, there are five feet of fabric there!

I trotted out there, shoo'ed the critter away (damn humans!) and covered the raised bed properly this time, anchoring it with rocks and bricks. The squirrels climb over chicken wire fences I erect (to keep the cats from using the beds as their litter boxes) and insist on digging holes......right where I plant fresh cauliflower starts, for instance. Argh.

Did I write about the full load of classes I signed up for? Must be off my nut. Math, Art (intermediate Drawing), Communications, and a Biology. Last two are offered online. 15 credit hours. In eight weeks. Yeehaw! It's funny -- last term when I was eyeballing the requisites for Speech/Communications I thought yeah right, why take a communications class through distance learning?? Preposterous! ha ha! Look what I ended up doing! It's a good way to stuff in some classes though, I, I anticipate that the material covered in Communications is something I, uh, do on a daily basis (no really, I think about everything so damn much, almost as much as my brain is off the hook...I'm bound to be on board with the course material and I can do practicums on my landlady).

okay, walking it out now......

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Tuesday May 04

Hey! This is being a real sweet deal of a day! I don't know what happened, I mean I was in such a funk. I'm mystified: is there a secret handshake I did with myself behind my back to precipitate my mood shift? Shit just ain't botherin' me today; I'm slowing down but I don't feel sluggish (I mean that I'm willing to step down the pace from frenetic and anxious to definitely-less-than-frenetic-and-anxious, and just let it all happen because there are just certain - many - things that are just beyond my control). I'm feeling fine with......with......imperfection and life's vicissitudes. God, I am going to make myself cry here. Or laugh hysterically. You pick, and email me, and I will comply.

Well, the first thing I did differently was to wake up pretty early this morning and I tucked myself in earlier than usual last night. I woke up before the alarm, at 6:22 to be precise, and registered online for summer classes (at 7am sharp!). By 8:30, after my morning routine and cup of Art and Story, I felt like I'd done a day's worth and only been up a couple hours. Invigorating!

Maybe I should habitually rise early after going to bed at a reasonable hour? Maybe my twice-daily dose of Dong Quai is finally taking hold of those darker moods by the throat (as it is designed to do, maybe not so graphically).

This little critter was sitting on top of the compost bin this morning, munching on something that looked really good, actually. Some flatbread? It's not mine. Got a kick out of it:

I rode to skool, which was wonderful (no rain on me!). I liked seeing the bicycle tire tracks in the newly street-sweepered bike lane; usually there are no visible tracks, but today there were and I felt like I was part of A Movement, you know? Evidence of other bicyclists gone before me, most likely grinding up that hill to school too.

Even though I'm stymied as to how I'm going to put together/pull off the latest Basic Design project and I think the teeny weeny corner that I sort-of completed today doesn't convey what I want, I'm not kicking myself in the keister about it (hey what a concept!). It was fun to post our last projects (the self-portrait collage) and do the informal/ish critiques. I love seeing everyone's art up; I'm always inspired, and it's so great how everyone's 'signature' is so much their own. I just felt so......ugh here's the word of the New Age Day....grounded and in the flow, in class. Ummmm.....present, okay? OKAY I said it. Relaaaaxed. I wasn't even bothered by one of my classmates who is chronically complaining and nattering on. THAT is really cool.

In drawing class, we started out with this:

General consensus at Mr. G's forceful sentiment: "Flowers are a bitch!!" But I had fun anyway. OH yeah! I arrived on campus early so I sat in the cafeteria and sketched and I actually enjoyed it. A LOT. There's nothing spectacular about what I drew, but my marks were decisive, and I liked putting the marks down even when they weren't what I liked, you know? Fuck yeah!!!

So then - still in drawing class here - I started doing another thumbnail, this time with vine charcoal. I wasn't too yippy-skippy about it, but Mr. G said Heeey that is working really well, why don't you try doing it on one of these big pieces of paper? (He'd brought some in for us, isn't that cool?) Oh hell why not, okay!

Oh man! Felt so good to just lay down a loose gesture and then block it in a bit, and then he said IT'S DONE! Okay!! Leave it at that! Here is That:

Keeping in mind that we are still doing the sort of classical drawing exercises, creating a composition with three values, with the alpha dark set against the focal point/alpha white.

"Fun isn't it?" he asked.
"YEAH!" And it was! Art hasn't been fun for me for a long time. Fuck yeah! ha ha!

Then I did another quick one before leaving and biking home and eating a kick-ass stir fry for dinner:

The canvas is twice the size of our large pages we usually work in. Jacque has been urging me for years to work big. Working big requires a different sort of big breath for the blank canvas than other big breaths I usually do on smaller pieces.....but it is so - dare I say - liberating. Plus, using the motion of your arm and wrist in larger radius feels great too.

And you know, I really appreciated being encouraged and rooted for. My sophomoric efforts are just that, and it's where I am, and I'm enjoying the potential more than I am focusing on anywhere else I should be.

Carry on then, fellow artmongers and dissidents!

Monday, May 03, 2010

Monday May 03

"You got to split up into pieces
and then reconstruct yourself from the elements"
Burnt Friedman -Nonplace Whistle

This is what I'm listening to, by chance, while assembling this piece - which I reconstructed from a quick charcoal drawing on newsprint I did this morning. I cut it up into random pieces, mixed 'em up, put them facedown, applied glue one piece at a time, and then closed my eyes and placed them one by one on the page.

charcoal collage
20 x 13"
There was intention behind the piece, for the Visual Arts Intro class. We were given a choice among several different assignments in lieu of class not being held today (our instructor is in San Francisco, enjoying lots of art....envious happiness!). I chose to create a piece in the Dadaism tradition (oh that's so anti-Dada, to refer to Dada in a traditional context!). I had checked out a book at the library on campus on Dadaism, and Surrealism, a couple weeks ago. This morning I thumbed through it and saw a Hans Arp collage, one of his 'by chances'. I love it:

Hans Arp
Collage Made According to the Laws of Chance, 1916

Turning my attention to how I'm feeling when I'm doing art - or doing anything - or ostensibly 'not doing anything'. Doing a lot of gut-breathing.

As usual, I both enjoyed making art this morning and found it challenging and even unpleasant. Actually the unpleasantness is a result of thinking I 'Should' (anything), or when I want to make something really stellar and am afraid I won't, or never will. Goddamn! Gotta laugh at that shit sometimes.



I glued up the Leftovers:

Measuring 8 x 6"

Bedtime. Already. Registering for Summer classes in the morning, 7am sharp!