Sunday May 09, with and without sun

The Crows in the Wheat Field

based on Van Gogh's painting

collage on board

20 x 18"

Oh my god, I am so glad this collage is done. It's an OCD'ers wet dream, right? Well I guess I'm not that afflicted after all. Ugh! This sucker was an all-day project for Basic Design and I gritted my teeth through it all the way. Last night I read something about Jackson Pollock and how he said as long as he was in touch with his painting, everything was cool. It was when he wasn't, that..it wasn't. It was much better when quoted and it gave me pause for thought: the way he worded it was beyond the obvious. Or behind the obvious.

Another thing I read in Art and Fear is to ask your work what it needs, not what you need.

I am totally willing to subordinate myself. But then again, I am ostensibly not because I remain conflicted and experience anxiety and apprehension around the whole creative process. Like today. It was an exercise in repetition to bring myself back to the work and ask what it needed.....I continued to try and dominate the whole experience ("I hate this shit, the glue is so messy, all these little pieces, what a pile of horsedookie, my back is killing me, why the hell am I doing this anyway??").

So I kept trying to stay in touch with the 'painting' and there were moments, I guess you can see that. There were also lots of moments where I just couldn't stay with it and I guess you can see that, too.

Anyway. Chalk another one up.

Tomorrow I meet with an academic advisor at the University (I think I wrote about that) -- this evening I've spent considerable time combing through course equivalencies and I found the BA requirements page and have done a couple hours' worth of preparatory work so that when I go in for my meager half-hour ear-bender I can hopefully maximize the time. Ah does mah homework yes sirree.

Time to call it a day. And a beautiful one it was......replete with sunny skies, warm weather, cloudy skies, a bike ride, and a helluva rainstorm (luckily I had already ducked into Kiva for my weekly grocery shopping when the thunder clapped and the heavens opened.....it was like nothing I've seen in years). (and luckily, the storm passed quickly enough that I only needed to wait a few more minutes after making my purchases to load up the bike and ride home under no rainy skies!)