I felt at ease today in a way I haven't for awhile. I'll enjoy it while it lasts, and that's not fatalistic, it's realistic. And maybe next time I spin out I can remember how I felt today.
Today? Laundry, hung out to dry in the warm sun. Love that. Made a print that I am okay with, pretty much, not being anything hugely special. I'm remembering all the little things I'm reading in the books on art and books by artists. Things like, the seeds for your next work lie in this one; ask your work what it needs.
I'm reading/looking at The Illustrated Life, a compendium of sketchbooks from which to draw inspiration from, but artists of all different stripes and spots. One of the women is an illustrator who graduated with a BFA and says that she isn't so happy so much with how she draws, that it's as if she's still nine years old, but that she's more okay with that now. That struck me like a bolt of lightening -- her drawings aren't very sophisticated, but they're genuine, and she draws every day, and she graduated from university with a degree......I felt in good company, and assured that all of my feelings about art, my self, my worth, expectations, etc ad nauseum (no disrespect to any of it).....are all normal and shit. So, yay!
Man I'm sleepy though. Here's the picture of the print, maybe some day I will approach the mad skillz of Kathe Kollwitz, but you know what? Maybe I never will, and......at least today...I'm okay with that. (another passage in Art and Fear - the reconciliation after the realization or intimation that you've done all your best work already...maybe I have....who knows? what if that's true? maybe I don't have to try so hard to top myself and struggle so much to create the kind of art I think makes me a 'real artist'...)