Tuesday, January 29, 2008

so fucking special



If you are familiar with Radiohead and Sesame Street, this post will be that much more making sensible.




Just remember, we all are really very special. Some, more than others. But always, you are a unique and beautiful snowflake, no matter what Jack says.










And try this from our friends of Low Morale, doing a music video of Creep. Now you know you are truly special. Don't drop yourself, you might break. I did that once, and I'm still picking up my pieces.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

across the universe

A few days ago, it was rilly cold and sunny. This is what I woke up to:



This is what I woke up to this morning:

Every year I post one of these pictures. This year, it's from a different bedroom window.

I wish I could totally relax here. I wonder how long I'll feel like my home is a pitstop. In the meantime, it's totally my home........well no not really, it's the landlady's; her presence is strong even though she's in Bolivia for another three weeks. Maybe the tension will lessen, at least for me, when I tell her I'm not going to do the garden with her. I know she'll feel relieved, but hopefully she won't feel all guilty about it and overcompensate in some other way, ya know? God. The less I see her the better. Fuck. I need to move.

In other news......I saw Across the Universe last night, at the dollar theater (well okay now it's the two-dollar theater). What a great show!!!!! I downloaded the deluxe soundtrack, it includes all the songs, in the order of their appearance in the film. Listened to it a few times today. I wasn't prepared to be so affected by it.

The bike ride home, about forty-five minutes (yeah, I'm bad-ass......la la la), was real nice, even though it was raining raining raining. It wasn't so damn cold, it was just cold, so riding felt like a cake walk.

I got watch movie now, or Veronica Mars. Candy. La la la.




Friday, January 25, 2008

so it goes

no dice

*ring ring ring!*

Boss: "Hi Victoria, I'm trying to contact everyone who interviewed...."

Me: "Yeah I think I already know the answer."

Boss:"I'm so sorry, I can't offer you the job this time. You were wonderful, you light up the room, you're warm and personable, intelligent, you interviewed perfectly."

So why didn't I get the job? I keep asking.

BossLady has a hard time giving constructive feedback and breaking hard news. She'll get back to me on this one. I requested a meeting, so I can hone the ol' interview skillz. Or......whatever.
Poo.

The suspicion that sneaks upon me is that I'm too much of a straight-talker, too much in-your-face questioner, and they didn't want me to land the job. Been causing trouble with our whole reclassification debacle these last TWO FREAKIN' YEARS.

So much for Equal Opportunity Employment!

No but really, yesterday after I listened to someone's voicemail for forty-five freaking seconds (in which she read no fewer than three scriptures from the Good Book) before I could leave a message to remind her of the class she signed up for on saturda ; and after most of the other people I talked with that day interrupted me before I could instruct or direct them thoroughly; and after listening to all the bitching and moaning that the reference librarians on desk slung around in the afternoon; and after I endured what for most reference librarians is a minimum of human humanity (read: filthy, disrespectful, dirty, inconsiderate, priggish, and otherwise offal)....I decided it's not such a bad thing after all to remain in my corner.

The money would be nice, though. I gotta figure out a way to sell some shit. Art shit, you know, the good shit. I'm so bad at marketing.

Ohhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

zazen

Monday, January 21, 2008

chalk it up

I would like to thank all the hard-working postal people for the sisyphean, herculean, overwhelming task of sorting, collating, not folding, binding, stapling, mangling (for the most part and most likely only under extreme duress); for persevering through wind, sleet, snow, and hail, etc etc etc..........great job!!!!!



I think whatever is causing the tick in my left tear duct is working overtime. Take a break already.

Oh, okay, good. Maybe it's done for the evening now. Crikey! What if that goes on for the rest of my life? I'm already exhausted! Lord.

iPhoto finally went completely whacked, I couldn't access anything at all and kept freezing up the works. Off to the forums I went, and found an application to download and manage, so I created a new library, and all seems well. For now.

Such trying times, these technological ones.

Actually it is a little - sometimes a lot - embarrassing, how much wealthy I am. Despite freezing my tushy off this winter, I am mostly pretty comfortable and have many amenities. I think I will turn on the space heater and blast my toes back from Iceland, pop some popcorn, and watch a movie. Lap. Of. Luxury.

One for the road:


Found it through a friend of a friend over on that MySpace space. Was looking for a bit o' inspiration and found a picture I liked. I think he's holding an Artist Trading Card that he painted but of course it does not look in the least like teeth.

Adieu mes amis!

Friday, January 18, 2008

sho' you right

Have I mentioned lately how glad I am that I don't smoke any more? I think of this lately because of how frikkin' COLD and WET and WINDY it is outside, and I never could abide smoking indoors. If I still wanted a cigarette, I'd be torn between my burning desire for nicotine and my burning desire to stay put where it's relatively warm (i.e., inside these four walls).

O what will I do when I move to Baja? No more deterrents!

Kidding, kidding. I won't smoke when I move to Baja.

Kidding, geeez! Like I'd move to Baja. How the hell would I make a living down there?

Oh but the warm weather.........probably can't grow a garden down there too easily though.

Shit it's cold here.



The other morning, there was opportunity for me to sleep until nine o'clock. But a certain next door neighbor was banging around like, what, he was ripping out walls or building a new wing off the master bedroom. Crikey!!!!! Nice guy, love the guy, but he's not one to keep it down at 7:30 in the morning. Actually, he's told me he can tune out most noise.

Love ya man, but shut the fuck up, eh! Heh heh.


I'm going to watch Johnny Depp now. Last night I tried to watch Transformers. I was horrified. Lines from the movie:

"Are you sure she's smiling? Maybe she farted?" (husband said to wife of new baby girl)
"No, she's a lady."

I let a big one rip as I was watching that. God! What are they teaching kids these days? It's not okay to be a girl and to break wind?! I thought we were living in the 21st Century. That's positively antiquated!

"No it can't be an Iranian hacker, it's way too smart."

WHAT?! Holy racial profiling! That's ruder than passing wind under the covers!

I had to turn the movie off.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

just gimme the g@*(%dm job

Pre-interview.

And post-interview.


I didn't totally blow, bomb, or fuck it up, but I am 99% sure I am outta the race for that round. Third time's a charm? I hope there is a third chance for me, even if I'm fifty freaking years old when that chance comes around that mountain when it comes when it comes. And that's not too far in the future. IF the future ever comes......

.....how can it? The future.....is always, you know, like, in the future.

Anyway, I'm not constipated any more. But I feel bummed out. Did my crying jag after dinner, isn't that fun? When your gut is full of food and you decide that now's a good time to heave and blow snot all around?

Here's the thing - I think I'll get that LA3 job when I really believe I can do it. Now that I've done the interview, I know I can totally do that job. Yeah okay, it's my second interview. But I've seen how some people do that job, and I can totally do that damned job, and better! I just don't like all the politics. That is what sucks, and that is one of the reasons I feel doubtful about my ability to function at an acceptable capacity in that job.

Stop. Shower Time, then I'm gonna get wasted, drop a couple hits of acid, maybe eat a flat of mushrooms. No, first the party favors, THEN the shower.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

come again?

Much time spent reviewing and preparing (in all ways) for tomorrow's battery of questions (interview). I'm feeling a bit better. Had to stop for a bit and do a picture this afternoon:


One of my flickrfriends' canvas is in this picture; I actually imported it to Photoshop. Here's the original on flickrstream. He surprised me a couple weeks ago by using one of my images in a collage, that was really cool. So I'm collaborating on his now.

What an incredibly gorgeous day today. Sunshine and relatively mild, mmm mmm good. My trip out to the garden this morning (ish) to uncover the greens lest they cook inside the cloche segued into weeding thee olde greens patch and mulching it but good. I think that is the last thing I will do in that garden. I am so done. I saw some dog shit in that patch, which I'd been eating from, soooo...........maybe I really am housing some tetchy parasites in mah gut. Greeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaat.

My brain is swimming. I need to go for a longer bike ride in to work tomorrow, I think. Sitting too much today.

Blah blah blah, here is another picture, some quick sketches to off-gas and relax after using my left brain for 99% of the day:

Monday, January 14, 2008

juh juh jitters


I think I've given myself an ulcer, or there are unfriendly parasites growing in my gut; I've developed a persistent twitch in the tear duct of my left eye; and I'm constipated.

I will be so very glad when this interview business is done and over with. Which will be by four o'clock wednesday.

I must to go and fetch a paper bag to breathe into, now.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

say cheese!


Did I say Happy New Year yet? Ok whatever! Another turn of the screw!

Actually I'm sitting here, it's my friday night, and the windchimes outside the window up here in the studio are tinkling just enough. As in, not violently. As they have in so many days past, what with the gale-force winds and all. It's nice and calm right now. No one is yelling,

"Coco! COCO! C'mere Coco!!!!"

That would be the neighbor kid in the back who moved in a few months ago, calling to his pitbull Coco. Hey I just happen to have a video from last week. I shall go and find it and try to upload it.




Usually the yelling is around midnight-thirty. But not for a week or so. Hmmmmmm.......good. There is dogshit all over the place, it's really gross. Not so much in the garden, but some. That's gross, and unsanitary, and I don't want to eat any more produce from the garden (especially since I've been sick a few times this past month, stomach-sick).


acrylic on reclaimed cardboard, stand letter-sized sheet of paper


Hey I'm not freezing my ass off! The temperatures are staying above freezing, it's great! Two pairs of socks and yeti slippers, and my feet are actually pretty warm. Well, not cold anyway.

And with the warmer temperatures (relatively speaking of course) come spiders. Dammit!! Double dammit! I killed one last night. Confession! True story! So that it wouldn't crawl inside my mouth while I slept. I woke up with a spider bite on my cheek. Revenge of the mate, or instant karma. Shiiiiiiiiit.

I'm gonna go watch some Hollywood film now. I'm still kinda freaked out by I Am Legend, though much impressed by Will Smith's acting and I'm glad I had no idea he's on so many shit-lists.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

mah head

Dinking around again. Bonus! You can see my boogers, AND a pimple! Helmet head too! Although, my chubby face is mostly what you see. After dinner and pre-shower doodling. Huzzah!



I rode by that place for rent ya know......way way way too small. I couldn't even fit my big toe in it. I will keep searching.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

say cheese

cue circus music

It is so wettey out there. Falling wet and wind. And more of the same. Ugh! I must to make myself go out in it though, and ride my bike; otherwise, I'll sit here on my arse-end all day and I will regret the inactivity. Plus, there is a place I want to look at, to rent. Yesterday's encounter with The Landlady was SO gross to me. She's leaving for six weeks, traveling south america. I could be gone by the time she returns. Just don't wanna be around someone who treats me like she does, barf-o-rama. Quite serendipitously, my friend Robin from work called me last night and told me about a place that her friend is renting out, adjacent to his house. I'm gonna do a ride-by.

*girding loins*

Sunday, January 06, 2008

oblivia

It was sunny earlier; before that, it was pissing down rain; before that, it was wet snow; prior to all that, I was asleep. Now, it's grey skies and more wet. Still and all, I need to move my arse, go for a walk, pick up some sundries at the store.

Wind's picking up again, too. I'm reading American Gods, and soon I'll be watching Stardust. All of a sudden, I'm in Neil Gaiman mode!

Here I am, messing around with another pad of post-its. At work, Charity relayed a grisly tale of a dead bird on her front stoop. I started a bird book for her at work the other day and finished it today:



Since my iMac has been freaking out (again and still, yeah), whenever I import film into iMovie and add effects, it likes to shred. In this case, it worked out pretty well I think.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

talkin'bout ghosts



Tonight it was all about process. No, I'm not kidding. I was gonna just give in to doubt, but then I decided to just pick up a pencil and just mess around. Glad I did. I love being absorbed by drawing. There are some things I really like about this one. The wonky stuff is okay too.

And what is up with this weather?! My god! Snow, hail, wind, rain, we got it all.

That is all.


oh wait! John Campbell, originator of the Hourly Comic Day, has made the forum for the 2008 gig! So on February 1st, there will probably be a couple hundred of us doing this thing and posting to a central location. yee haw!

For reals now. That is all.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

deetle deetle deetle

Crikey! so much going on, a stellar weekend, seemed like a half an eternity! but plenty of downtime too, art, celebration, chocolate, more art, cleaning man does that feel good. Hourly Comic Day has come and gone again, you can catch the full frontal

right here.

(I linked to my HCD but of course you can view the whole shmear by everyone too)

Tonight, a hastily scrawled flipbook, with pretty much no idea where it was going. It's set to Crab to Sun (my friend Chuck), song is old(ghosts)(new)west. The whole album is cracking good. I must to shower and then to bed for I have not been sleeping much and I am bound to feel ill effects of that sooner or later.