Saturday, August 30, 2014

So big so small

Talked with a couple of buddies at the Saturday Market today. We agreed that the Market is a happy place, and yet there are those who would spoil it for themselves and others by not checking their ego or their tempers at the door. We further agreed that it is a place meant for fun, not for sourpusses. Young Clayton relayed an incident of a tie-dye tshirt shack owner who insisted on being Un-Grateful, we bemoaned the poor man's fate (he'll never reach the Farther Shore with that attitude and the wheel will keep on turnin'), and Don said, "Look at that dinosaur!" We whipped our heads around in unison:


And then we all laughed......so hard! What perfect timing. That TRex wasn't there a second ago...was it? And no one was paying it any mind at all. Impotent! ha ha......ahaha! awwwwwww.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

So far this summer vacation/break/layoff from LCC has consisted of a lot of sitting and gazing out the window. With and without music. A lot of sitting and gazing and thinking. Writing. Breathing. Walking. Sleeping. How often does anyone sit and listen to music? How often do people actually have or make the time to do so? I haven't done that for a long time. Music is a daily thing but to just sit and listen.....no, it's usually on while I'm doing dishes, art, yoga, what-have-you.





Warpaint - Beetles

I'm not prepared, I just gotta gotta get there
Where am I, why can't I just get it together?
Fuck it, where's my shit?

Oh my God I'm mad at it
Oh my God I'm mad at it

Oh my God I'm mad at it
I wanna throw it out the window
I wanna throw it out the window
I wanna throw it out the window
I wanna throw it out the window

And here I go, hanging on
Nothing new, nothing new,
nothing and nothing
oh no

Let's get naked and rip down the wall that makes me crazy,
tell me how
Someone hold my hand and give me lessons 'cos I wanna
Melt the knot inside of it
I wanna melt the knot inside of it
I wanna melt the knot inside of it
I wanna melt the knot.............

Thursday, June 26, 2014

throwback thursday




This is who I really am.

When I was about 8, my mom took me to the Unicorn Theater in San Diego. This now-closed theater housed a bookstore in front and through a beautifully wrought teakwood door with trees carved into latticework, a theater where they showed cult classics and animation festivals. This time we watched the french film Wild Child (with subtitles! I learned that 'lait' means 'milk'). The film is based on a true story about a boy raised by wolves until the psychologist finds him in the forest. He domesticates Victor by cutting off his beautiful hair (cried) and putting him in shoes (cried again).

I was completely riveted. I celebrated Victor's freedom and feral family and mourned the loss of it. After the film I promptly whipped off my shirt, got down on all fours (arms and feet, not knees), developed a nice loping gait, and proclaimed myself Wild.

Here I am up a tree. Mom insisted that I wear the sandals and socks. It was the only way I was able to continue being Wild in the trees. I didn't like it, but there you have it.

I spent many weeks running around like this.

Actually my whole life......



 

What was I thinking?

Most of my social scene has been on Facebook the last couple-plus years. Obviously I haven't been blah blah blahgging. What've you all been up to? I guess I could find out if I was linked to your lives and blogs.

So this morning I crawled in to my little corner cabinet to pull out some artifacts: CDs to import to my iTunes library, since all the bootleg and other stuff is still on disc.....and I pulled out my old art and writing journals. What was I thinking, paging through summer of 2009? On a cloudy day? With Radiohead waiting in the wings, just begging me stop so they could lift me out of my melancholy?

My takeaway from this morning's session, folded up on the floor like a frog to relieve the soreness in my back and hips, was that I wished I believed in some sort of God. (Or Afters. Like the British Elevensies.)

I don't disbelieve in Other/More. I am aware of Other; it's all around, hello?

Maybe what I really want is to tap more into my animal. The deeper brain I guess. The brain that doesn't endlessly, recursively self-question. Damned emergent properties, opening up avenues and limiting others, allowing me to talk out my ass-end! So preoccupied with all that lint in the navel. To whit: all those iterations in the quantum load of journals I've penned over the years like karma laid out in patterns on college-ruled.

Talking with a friend about how adopting an animal's no-fuss attitude about life and the inevitable end (which they don't even know or think about of course) would lighten the load considerably...she chimed in, "Yeah, we (humans) aren't really necessary." I liked that. Skimmed a lot of that self-importance right off the top that I have a habit of encouraging to ferment and froth over, you know?

I don't know, I guess I just felt like writing something into the ether and posting this badass thing I made yesterday. I really like it. You'll see Vash the Stampede, perhaps - and Grant Morrison's influence as well.