Thursday, May 05, 2011

neverending grey

I seriously need to figure out what to do next winter. So far I have figured out two things I can do that sound sane and successful:

1. Move to a sunnier clime.

2. Stop pining for sunshine and warmth to last for more than eight weeks out of the year, buckle down, buck up, buy a happy light, and stay put.

I just thought of a third option:

3. Quit school for a term and go south with my friend Yona, who has been to San Miguel de Allende. I have seen pictures, we have Skyped while she is there, and she wants to go back (especially during the Oregon winter).

I tell you what. I am so sad with this weather I could cry you a river. I am aching for more than one and one-half days of sunshine per month (barring those eight golden weeks during july and august). I should stop looking at the weather forecast, because my heart positively soars when the forecast is for one measley sunshiney day above 60 degrees, and then it plummets el rapido when that one flaming day is bracketed by grey and chilly.

I want to put my bare feet on the floor, the pavement, the green and brown earth and I want my toes to be warmed. Something way down inside woman eases up in me when the sun is shining and the temperatures rise above 65. When the bite isn't in the air. When I'm not growing mold.

Yesterday it was warm and sunny. Glorious. Absolutely glory us.

Today it is grey and chilly. But, I had a great print run in the studio. I'll post the results at a future date, it needs to remain a wee secret for a bit longer.

I am in a big ol' painting slump. I find myself wanting to keep everything in mind that Mr. Teacher has told me in our bi-weekly critiques; I find myself wanting to ditch it all and just freaking PAINT SOMETHING. So I tried this evening, and what do you know, it was battery has run down or something.

Cheery little post, aye?

Oh, here, some sketchies. I'm actually enjoying the sketching without any pressure to 'make something good'. See where I go all the time? Do you go there? You do? Oh good well let's order a drink together.

So I'll while on a while longer......when I'm sketching these there is the usual run-of-the-mill hamster wheeling (monkey chatter, etc). But not so much lately. Not so much when I just listen to myself, my better half, and just kick back and sketch and observe rather than criticize (makes sense). I have to keep trusting myself to just explore and know I'll find stuff instead of 'you're wasting your time' nonsense.

Kinda wish I was more eloquent tonight, or maybe just wishing I could put something down I am sure to make good positive sense of later when I need a reminder about.....something.....what was that? 

Look I only drank two beers. And that was last night. I swear to god, I cannot hold my alcohol any more, it affects me for years after!

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