Hello blogfolks. Thank you for sending me the wetsuit, fins and snorkel. I am not quite waterlogged but damn near close. Spring is long, wet, and mostly chilly.

It's also been a productive time yessiree. I painted up a storm.

Now, what happens for you, as a visual artist, when you hit a point where your own personal Mandelbrot becomes less interesting as it becomes more recursive? What do you do, or not do?

See I'm trying to keep in mind all these great devices I'm learning

- varying the stroke
- asymmetry
- composition (goes without saying, but......just sayin')
- draw outside the lines
- negative space needs to be interesting too (maybe not the same visual weight though)

And I listen to my instructor and remember that he has his own aesthetics, even as he's giving me some really great pointers. Interestingly enough, he does not find my paintings narrative; the story is one of the first things people tell me they like about my art. So I'm wondering what that is all about and am I losing some of my edge because I am trying to learn all these 'rules'?

Actually I am feeling supremely frustrated with painting, as in.......I am done. For awhile at least. Am I giving up too easily? I keep making the same marks, it's uninteresting, and it's really weird how I don't seem to be making any inroads to doing something different. True I am painting on paper (due to the amount of painting I'm doing: my postage-stamp sized studio apartment cannot hold an inventory of more than five canvases.....and my wallet cannot support many canvases either although I should investigate those canvases on rolls....).

So where was I?.......oh right, painting on paper. That can make a difference. Still don't understand why I can't seem to work the paint like I want to. UGH! It's just...........UGH!

Okay so this one was fun at times, I loaded the brush up. Was trying out painting light on light. Strong points (according to Tutor): there is both light and dark in the figure and the environment. Um.......okay that's all I can remember him saying that was strong. But, it was a pick for the ridiculous little competition for a catalog entry (I was not chosen to be one of six to represent Lane Community College).

This one looks nicer since I hit it with the iPhoto higher contrast controls. I am veering off into monochrome land, vagueness, muddy waters. Teacher says to include some personality in the figures. Fine, leave some features unrealized, but definitely render some features/elements in detail instead of furring everything.

Don't clump things (hands, etc). What's with the monochromatic? As a viewer I will want to see some story. Good advice, all. And, you see what I mean with the recursiveness......avoid redundancy! I feel redundant.

So, then:

A little Tom Yorke action, I'm sure you've seen him dancing? No? You might appreciate it. Radiohead's latest album is terrific. The sketching came at a moment when my observation/coordination was all in tune one with another so that was fun.

Mr. Teacher also said something about one of my favorite artists, who he (instructor) had initially been blown away by. Upon second look he had lost interest. Look, I have to fucking pump this guy for information sometimes and I just get so sick of the ego. It's fine to not like something but I am so fed up with the dismissiveness in the 'fine art' department. Anyway, excuse me.......I asked why, exactly, he wasn't all fired up anymore and he said something about illustration vs. art. Oh boy here we go again.

I love illustration.

I fucking love it.

I am going back to my roots.