Wow! Welcome to another week! And the end of a monday.
I'm a junkie. I'm addicted to making art that goes ZING. As well as bang and boom. Here is what I'd also like to do: be just as enthused about the freaking process and the so-called 'misses' and bring a wow-factor in to roost as permanent cheerleader for said Process. I want a shift in paradigm if you please. Let us make it so. To do that I think an important step is to untangle Worth and Productivity. They are discreet and yet, as you well know, regarded and regaled as inseparable.
"Artists don't get down to work
until the pain of working is exceeded
by the pain of not working."
Time marches on and I have miles to go before I sleep so once again, good night and here is a WIP:
I'm definitely preferring the floor lately. There is more room and I am also preferring larger canvases.
Also, I don't understand why, when I upload a fairly large file, you cannot click on it and the browser opens up another window with the larger picture. Or is it just me? What is going on, eh?
Finished! 26 x 23"
Our drawing instructor cancelled class today, so I used the studio for these doodles:
I talked with our Dean today about instructor absenteeisms and cutting out of class early. We will see what happens.
Math! Small victories! And on the next page a big WTF. Ah well. I will ask about that tomorrow in class, before the test. I'm so glad and astonished that the algebra I learned in high school is actually still kicking around the ol' brainpan, in the back of the dusty closet, but there nonetheless.
cheater cheater, I'm blogging from memory.......what the hell happened on wednesday? I met with an advisor, told him my academic plan for the coming year, he told me about his fabulous retirement plans (he will also be a philanthropist), and he cleared me for one year's worth of advance registration. In mid-may I will be able to register for FALL TERM. SHYEAH!! On the 4th of May I'll be able to register for summer classes. I'm considering the marathon week of drawing course, did I mention that? Oh yeah, well......7 days, 12 hours a day. That sounds rather suicidal actually. If I feel mentally and emotionally hardy, I'll go for it.
I think this was the math test. I was cross-eyed by the finish line but I think I did awright. The great thing about learning how to solve linear equations is that you can go back and plug in your answer to see if it works. If it doesn't, well then you know you need to go back and figure out where you took a left turn.
I need to figure out a new packable lunch, I am getting sick of my rice beans salsa and guacamole bowl. All these people sitting around eating great big slices of aromatic cheesy pizza.......argh! cheese fucks me up though.
Kind of a whirlwind week.....oh yeah I met with the Dean of Art on wednesday too. He was pretty cool - the next day (thursday)
god I am just rambling whatever blah blah blah
anyway he came into drawing class to see if our dear Mr. G was in attendance and teaching us, so it was nice to observe that our Dean took my concerns to heart (he said that other students have given him similar feedback). Mr. G gave us our first full three hour class this day.
Friday. Today. for reals.
I'm not even posting any of the art I'm doing. I am going through another crisis, whilst trying to play it down and not give my doubts any undue advantage or undeserved limelight. Plus I think allergies are throwing a wrench in my system, which always messes with my emotions. I keep telling myself that I am allowed to make as much bad (uninteresting, ugly, mediocre, etc) art as I want to. It is really supremely ungodly undignified how difficult it is for me to accept that I make yucky to look at art. It's so ridiculous how much identity is snarled up in art, but it's totally normal.
there is a part of me who says, "What's the point of doing art if it's not something you want to look at? what a waste of time! you're not having fun, so just toss it all in and go be a couch potato....fuck it."
I'm reading Art and Fear, I believe I've mentioned that book a few times, and it is SO comforting. All the shit I am going through is all the shit anyone goes through and more specifically what all artists experience. I'm also reading a couple of other books I picked up at the downtown library today, on art and creativity -- more validation that while art is fun and sometimes just flows, it is also really difficult.
At least I haven't started smoking again. I did eat a gigantic bowl of popcorn late last night though. I'm going to watch something cool now. Like Spirited Away, or maybe Tekkonkinkreet (amazing japanese/american animation based on a graphic novel).
Oh alright, here - I did this bad boy with dental floss and paint (acrylic, and tempera)!
Try clicking on it for the biggie size. If that doesn't work, click here for extra big and here for big
I did some watercolors tonight; the above is a slice of one. I think tomorrow I'll mess around with cutting them up and re-assembling them into stronger pieces.
Saturday. All Day.
A Flat Day, In Fact. That is to say, most of the figure drawing from this morning turned out very flat and stiff. There were a few round bits. They're all in the trash, except for a few digital excerpts and this is the one I find most beguiling:
This one is kind of cool in places but it's also unsettling, confusing and a little creepy.
I worked in conté which isn't altogether unfamiliar, but I haven't worked with it for any sustained length of time or with four colors as I did here. I did tend to lose myself in the lines which was fun but also resulted in a big "huh?" factor looking on it afterwards. I did enjoy experimenting even though I don't really enjoy looking at the end results.
One of my fellow artists said, "And then there are many days when you just show up." True, true. I felt like that many times today -- I'm here, I'm not excited, but I'm here and I'm going to just draw, regardless. I almost packed up my supplies and left several times over. Learning how to stay put is a lesson I'm learning -- and knowing when to leave or end a (_______) is a lesson I'm learning too. All about the balance, grasshopper, or, as Kenny Rogers sings, "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em."
Another thing I aim to develop are strategies for days like yesterday: itchy, discontent, tired, underconfident, uninspired. I'm reading several good books on art and artists (well you know, hopping around/skimming, snacking on them) and I've been reminded that if you think you need to wait for inspiration to strike in order to do art, you will be waiting a very long time, my friend. Sometimes.......you just have to show up.
I imagine doing things like prepping canvases, cutting paper for gesture drawing (I draw it off a long roll of butcher paper), or practicing very simple and rote exercises would be good strategies for coping with low-energy days. Chocolate is an option too.....
Tonight my two best gal pals came over and we used the big plate dishes I bought last summer when I moved in here for the first time - and also the tea pot. Things I bought for the event when I'd actually have company over for tea and/or a meal. It was really nice. I'm glad our schedules finally synched up -- usually I go over to their place but they wanted to come here and it worked out nicely. It was funny/cool/strange to have three bodies in this postage-stamp-sized apartment. I'm also really feeling the crunch since I've started to work bigger and want to involve myself with more than one project at a time. Maybe next year I'll find a bigger space to live and do art in.
This inspires me:
It's an installation of 308 drawings by Dean Nimmer, the author of a book I'm reading titled Art From Intuition. I totally want to do something like this. I want to appropriate a whole wall and fill it with similarly sized drawing/paintings. It's so exciting to look at. He issued a challenge to himself: to create a thousand drawings in one year. He writes of this experience:
"I quickly realized that to accomplish this goal, I was going to have to change several bad habits that had become ingrained in my painting process. Among these habits were: becoming fixated on one painting for long periods of time; trying to determine whether each piece I made was "good" before I went on to the next; sticking to the same palette or medium for too long; and holding steadfastly to the notion that my work should have a consistency or "style" that would give it an overall identity. Over the course of completing the drawings, I discovered that all the ideas I held sacred were in fact holding me back from real discovery and new possibilities for my art. I came to understand that in order to avoid these pitfalls, it was much better to allow my instincts and intuition to show me the way, and to stop being so self-conscious."
I wonder what method he used in choosing the sequence of display. Was it simply chronological, or did he remap it for more visual interest? I will try to find an email for him, and ask. He seems like a really cool guy and I like what he's written so far. A sense of adventure and willingness to experiment - very contagious :)
I finished a project today that mushroomed into something way lengthier and more involved than I had anticipated. And now I am knackered, in a good way, and I also planted beets this afternoon and went for a bike ride and cleaned the studio and said hi to friends so yeah it's a full to the brim sort of sunny sunday huzzah!
The pics are not so great, but anyways.......watercolor, recombined pieces, collaged, paint, more collage.....whew. This might count for another final project for school. Considering the time investment, I hope it fills at least a dual-purpose. I like how some of it turned out. It was a good exercise in freestyling to begin with, just painting aimlessly; and then doing something new and unplanned with it but slicing, dicing and puzzling it back together. Also helped me look at figure/ground and positive/negative space more closely, which is good since that's what we're all about in Basic Design.